Confession
by My Clone
Summary: Lily finally realises that she loves James, but does she manage to tell him so? Second chapter is up! Read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Another Lily/James oneshot. Set in their 7th year. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

It was a Saturday evening and the Marauders, along with Lily, Kathy and Alice had gathered at the Black Lake to spend some time away from the humungous amount of homework they always seemed to have nowadays.

Lily was lying on her side, her arm propping up her head to support it. Around her, the rest of them sat, reminiscing the events of the past years.

And though Lily wanted to join in the conversation, the image of James in her mind distracted her. Yes, James was the problem. She couldn't sort out her feelings for him and she couldn't understand his feelings for her either. He didn't seem interested in her anymore and there was the stiffness in the air when he talked to her. And that had been about Head duties, nearly a week ago.

She longed for him to look at her, to talk to her. She felt her heart split into two when he wasn't around and felt it become whole again when he was. She wished her heart wouldn't give a great big lurch and start thudding against her ribcage every time he looked at her or talked to her and she wished someone could explain what was happening.

James voice jerked her out of her thoughts. "Isn't it, Lily?"

"Huh?" Lily said in a small voice, looking up confusedly at James, only to feel the lurch of her heart in her chest, that she hadn't felt in almost a week.

James' eyes bore into hers and she could feel her heartbeat quickening again. His strong gaze seemed to penetrate her soul and she tore her eyes away from his and fixed her gaze on the ground.

"Sorry," she muttered, shifting herself to a sitting position. "I wasn't listening. I…I think I need to take a rest."

And without giving them a chance to say anything, she got up and prepared to leave, when she felt drops of rain fall on her arm. Instinctively, she looked up at the grey sky. More droplets were beginning to fall and around her, the rest of them started to get up too.

"Let's get back, Lily," shouted Alice as the rain started to fall heavier, and they all ran back to the castle, hands covering their heads.

Lily started at them as they ran back, but made no movement to follow them. Instead, she looked up at the sky again, a serene smile forming on her face when drops of rain fell on her face. She smiled wider, sweeping her hair out of her face. She had always loved the rain, and it gave her a great sense of comfort to know that despite the unpredictable circumstances in the wizarding world now, the rain was one thing that was still constant.

She opened her arms out wide, as if to embrace the rain and remembering what she used to do as a child, she started spinning round and round until she fell to the ground, dizzy.

Closing her eyes to wait for the dizziness to go away, she took a while to adjust her bearings and opened her eyes. Suddenly, she heard a solemn voice from her right and she looked up, frowning in confusion.

Her eyes met James' hazel ones and her heart leaped again. "Shall we go?" he repeated. "You'll catch a cold." And he stretched out a hand, which Lily took, still a little dizzy from the spinning around.

Her hand in his, he started leading her towards the castle, but it began to rain even heavier. He looked at the castle and then the shelter that Hagrid had built near the lake, and seemed to contemplate whether they should make a dash towards the castle. However, as a streak of lightning shot across the sky, he ran towards the shelter, dragging Lily along.

In the shelter, Lily looked expectantly at James, who was facing away form her and towards the rain. Night was starting to fall now, and it became a little cold. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew against her wet skin and she took a sharp intake of breath, shivering and rubbing her arms with her palms to try to keep warm.

James' head had turned at her gasp and on his face was an expression of worry. His gaze traveled down her shivering form and he walked towards her, tapping her with wand. Instantly, warmth spread through her body, and she blushed, embarrassed that she hadn't thought of drying herself with magic.

"You should be more careful," James whispered.

Lily looked up, locking her eyes with his and felt her heart thumping and heat creeping up her neck at his gaze.

As she looked into his eyes, the care in them was replaced by a look of desperation. He took a step forward, ignoring the pleading look in Lily's eyes. She took a step backward, only to feel the pillar behind her.

Her mind was totally blank as he took another step and her body completely lost its ability to move.

He moved forward some more and leaned in towards her, and as much as she didn't want them to, her eyes closed in anticipation of the kiss. His lips touched hers gently and her eyes fluttered open as reality hit her.

She pulled away. She couldn't do this. She couldn't betray Christopher's feelings. And turning away, she ran away from the shelter. She ran, ran and ran, images of what had happened flashing through her mind.

Then, just then, it struck her. What it all meant. What the longing she felt for him to talk to her or look at her, what the pain in her heart when he wasn't near her, what the quickening of her heartbeat every time he looked at her meant. It was love!

She stopped abruptly, grabbing a tree and letting it all sink in. She loved him…but… Tears started flowing down her cheeks. But…she couldn't break up with Christopher. It would break his heart. She leaned her forehead against the tree trunk in despair, as more tears started to flow. Her tears mingled with the rain as she thought about the anguish of not being able to tell James that she loved him.

The rain whipped her hair into her face and exasperated, she lifted a hand to sweep it back, when she felt a hand on a shoulder. Her eyes widened and she wondered whether she ought to tell him that she loved him. The need to tell him about her love became stronger and she whispered, "I love you."

She turned around, wanting his strong arms around her but the eyes that met hers were not the hazel ones of James, but the blue ones of Christopher. "I love you, Lily," he said, pulling her into a hug.

**A/N: How was it? I would have liked it if James and Lily had got together, but, well… Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Lily lay on her bed, her face buried in her pillow so that her friends would not be able to see her weeping bitter tears about

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter for Confession! I really have to apologise though, it's been over a year before I updated. I took my O levels last year and am working towards my A Levels for next year. I finished my exams for the year, and so I'm officially free! Yay! Anyway, hope you like this one!**

**Disclaimer: As usual, nope, I don't own Harry Potter, and unfortunately, never will.**

Lily lay on her bed, her face buried in her pillow so that her friends would not be able to see her weeping bitter tears about her plight.

Ironically enough, she was the one who had brought this upon herself and here she was now, somewhat regretting her earlier actions, yet not knowing what she should have done instead.

An ache filled her heart as she thought about James and her love for him. It wasn't and couldn't be anything but love. But she couldn't tell him that because of Christopher.

She didn't have an inkling about how to solve the internal battle that was raging within her. One part of her wanted her to leave Christopher and be with her love, James.

The other part, however was reminding her of the extent to which Christopher had helped her. He had been a trustworthy and honest companion and the best of friends when she had needed someone to talk to. She didn't think that he deserved that after being there for Lily when she needed it.

Basically, she had no idea whether to let the selfish or selfless part of her take over.

Suddenly, there was a sharp knock on the door. Lily remained stubbornly silent, knowing that the person would come in anyway after sometime.

Too right, she heard the door open, and soon after, Christopher's voice. "Lily?"

She buried her face further into her pillow, refusing to lift her head.

"Lily," she heard Christopher's voice again, this time firmer. She felt the side of the bed sink as Christopher apparently sat himself on it.

"Lily, I know what's wrong with you, and don't ask me how, because I just do." At this point, he sighed, but continued in a tone that made Lily feel that he was talking more to himself that to her. "To be very honest, I saw this all coming along, sooner or later."

There was a pause and she heard, "You are in love with James Potter, aren't you?"

Lily froze suddenly, her crying tirade put on halt too. _How did he know? How could he know?_ She contemplated pulling her head put of the pillow but couldn't bring herself to actually do it because she just didn't dare face him.

"It isn't that hard to figure out, seriously," she heard him add in such a solemn voice that she had absolutely no idea about how Christopher might actually be feeing.

"I just wanted to let you know, Lily, that I won't hold any grudge against you no matter what decision you make, and I promise that I'll always remain your friend. I trust you to make the right decision, ad I'm telling you again, I'll be there to support you whatever that is."

With that Lily felt the weight on the bed disappear. She heard Christopher's goodbye, before the door opened and closed, leaving Lily all alone with her slightly thoughts.

Slowly, she lifted her head, contemplating what to do as she wiped her tears. It was as if she had unconsciously been waiting for the cue all along.

Making up her mid in an instant, bolting out of her room and sprinting down the stairs to the common room before she could change her mind, she bumped into a worried Sirius.

"Where's James?" Lily asked breathlessly.

The worry on Sirius' face was replaced by a smile as he replied, "The Astronomy Tower."

Lily ran frantically along the corridors, leaving shocked and surprised portraits in her wake. As she went up the stairs to The Astronomy Tower, however, she halted suddenly.

Sure, she had run all the way up here, but she hadn't thought about what she was going to say at all, and at this point in time, had no idea how to put her feelings into words. And on top of it al, she was afraid about how James would take it, especially after having been rejected yet again by her.

Suddenly, Lily's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of shuffling feet. She lifted her head instinctively and before her stood James, with a very solemn look on his face. Then his hazel eyes me her emerald ones and an angry and frustrated look took over his eyes and face. Without saying a word, he turned back and walked towards the other end of the Tower, leaning his arms on the railing.

The action hurt Lily, but her mind reminded her about the purpose she had come here with, and she wasn't going to leave without fulfilling it.

Taking a deep breath, she walked towards James, but stopped about a metre away from him.

She opened her mouth, but no sound was produced. "James," she finally whispered, but James showed no sign whatsoever of having heard her.

"James," she repeated, speaking a notch louder. James suddenly spun around, surprising Lily; she had not expected him to show any kind of response this time either.

As she summoned enough courage to look up into his eyes, she realised that they had a cold, glassy look that was not even focused on her, but at the dark depths of the nigh sky.

Without acknowledging her, nor saying anything else, he made to walk away but Lily grabbed his arm.

James stopped, but didn't turn around this time. Instead, he shook his arm roughly out of Lily's grasp.

Tears sprang to her eyes, but blinking them away with much difficulty, she gulped, whispering, "James, I'm sorry. I'm really really-"

"Keep it to yourself," James cut her apology short. "I don't want to hear anything. I've had enough," he said irritably.

His words completely plunged through her heart.

She froze, unable to react and watched silently as James walked away.

Staring at his retreating back, she couldn't help it as tears started rolling freely down her cheeks.

In a last act of desperation, she said the only thing that made sense to her at the time.

"I love you!" she cried out.

In the distance, she saw James halt in his tracks, and momentarily, she was filled with hope, but then he continued walking away from her, as if nothing had happened.

Lily fell to her knees, consumed in sorrow and disappointment.

**A/N: So there's it! Well, first she walked away, and now he did, but I promise, they will get together. I'll be finishing up with a last chapter. Do look out for it! And of course, review please!**


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